It has been very disheartening to read the news regarding the string of queer teenage suicides. I was even more stunned the next couple of days and thoroughly disgusted to read the news about 13 guys from Bronx who brutally tortured three guys just because they are beautifully diffrent. My girlfriend and I condemned those beastly actions strongly and sternly. There is no word to describe our feeling but it broke our hearts, deeply. But whether we like it or not, the avalanche of unfortunate news have brought the anti-gay hysteria in the worldwide spotlight. Much to our dismay, the spotlight has also been mounted with political agenda for personal gain as if the gays are political pions to win votes only to be discared later on when the gain has been made. It's a classic story but the movement towards a better cast of light has already started.
To understand my point, you have to know where I'm coming from. I come from a country where homosexual is regarded as taboo and still is considered a "disease" that can be cured. The close-minded people of country still pretty much believe that the children rather died than to be a homosexual. I love my mom dearly and so does she. But my mom, at one point, during my teenage years, has suggested to give me a testosterone theraphy because I appeared to effeminate in her liking. I went through junior high with not much ease either. I was fat, short, effeminate and a nerd. A perfect target to be bullied. It was not as extreme as what the high-profile suicide victims went through but it was still an emotionally draining experience. I was brought up in a Christian school and from such a young age, I have been incepted with dogma that Homosexual is a huge sin. My teenage years were full of sleepless nights over the fear that I would be someday condemned in hell and to cause embarassment for disgracing my family just simply because of who I am. However, suicide was never my option because I believe I will be big someday. And so every one of you will. You have got to believe in yourself.
Years after that, here I am aiming high for my career. I am still not completely out but people who have just known me recently can immediately notice that I am gay. and those who have known me before have seen how much have I changed to be more comfortable with myself. The world is changing. And the young generation has become more acceptable to differences. Throughout my years, I have met wonderful straight people including my girlfriend who have loved me unconditionally and have accepted the way I am.
I know your pain. We all know your pain. We have been through that. Project happy thoughts and focus on the artful talents you have been neglected. Those people who said being gay is miserable clearly have never read a dictionary. Check your dictionary and see what gay really means - fun and frivolous.
Being gay is your best excuse not to be boring.
Believe me, It gets better. Hugs.
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