Giovanna Battaglia

Her style, her face, her hair, her skin...this woman is a dream! I'm sure you've all heard of her but if not here is a little about her.





Former house model at Dolce & Gabbana, Giovanna Battaglia is now a leader in men's fashion as the editor of L'Uomo Vogue.






I first laid eyes on her on the sartorialist a couple of years ago and instantly fell in strong like (i don't use the word love to describe my adoration for someone) of her.




Ooh! And she's also dating Carine Roitfeld's son Vladimir Restoin-Roitfeld. :)





all images courtesy of easyfashion, garancedore, jakandjil, thefashionist, fashion-style.becomegorgeous, trendycrew

Some People Have Real Problems

You can't judge a book by its' cover, but you can certainly vaguely know about people from the books that they read.

Recently, I went to the National Library to borrow a few books. I was originally looking for the "Last Lecture" but I could not find it. So I went astray to the self-help section.

It's such a wonderment actually to observe what kind of people read what kind of books. For 15 minutes, I submerged myself in the self-help section, I observed random people. I saw a short fat woman. In which in my mind, was, "Oh-kay, she has a reason to be here." and not to long after that, I saw a beautifully-built, tanned, hot dude who was also reaching the self-help book for confidence. And I was wondering, at which part did he think he was flawed?

Everyone of us has insecurities that we try to disguise, whether it is that flabby tummy, the squeaky voice or even those short toes. Yet sometimes, we disguise our insecurities by attacking other people insecurities so we feel somewhat more superior, or we value ourselves lower so that people will throw compliments and feed that sore egos.

How many of us have ever labeled someone in passing with numbers, "Oh, he is a five", "nah, I think he is seven" and so on. We often forget that we might be subjected to the same treatment, and the worse part is although we might brush it off as jokes, some people with low self-esteem might take it seriously and stick to that number.

So whenever he enters a meat-packing district, he always compares himself to the other contenders. "Oh, he is an 8, I am only a 5, I don't think he will ever look at me.", as much as that mental note to himself, these thoughts project itself and people will actually start to think he is a five when he is actually not.

People are mean, Gays especially are meaner. We are the combination of the worst behaviours from male and female. The sexual-oriented mannerism and the bitchy side.

I have been reading a lot of books about self-help myself, and all of them only contain one simple mantra - believe in yourself.

I know it's easy to talk than to walk but that's it, and you'll find your life an easier route to take.

Repeat the mantra after me, glitters.

The Gay Vs The Girlfriend: Open Relationship

image courtesy of friendsandlovers.com

I was talking to my Girlfriend today, as usual, when she pointed out a blog where the boyfriend has been fucking around with her girlfriend's knowing and permission. I retorted to her that it is very similar in the gay community of what we usually called the "open relationship", or sometimes, "open marriage". It's not exclusively for the gay community but it's where most common practices are found. Basically, we both have a common ground about this sanctity of a relationship yet, somewhat we have a differing opinion whether it's an agreeable practice.

From the Gay's point of view:

It's absolutely very difficult to find a lasting relationship in the gay community, it's even more so difficult to have a marriage or a civil union relationship. For straight relationships, most often than not, after a few years, the objective of relationship changes into more a family-oriented. The relationship grows from sex for pleasure to sex for having children. Gay relationships do not. It sticks in the sex-for-pleasure phase. So after a while, sex becomes mundane, sporadic, lazy and familiar. It has been taken for granted. An open-relationship becomes an option to "spice" things up. and they conjure up an excuse, called, the "emotional fidelity".

"Emotional fidelity" is where you stay emotionally faithful yet allowed to be physically unfaithful to your partner. It depends on the arrangement between partner, but mostly you are not allowed to do what couples would normally do in dating circumstances, like watching romantic movies or candle-lit dinners together. You are only allowed to have sex anonymously with someone alone or threesomes with your partner.

Apart from the STD factors, I personally feel that "emotional fidelity" is just a pathetic excuse for both parties to buy some time before they find another guy to move on to. They are just too comfortable in the relationship that being single is such a torture, and in the end, opt for an open relationship. Yet some idealistic people might succumb to this option, when this is the last viable path to salvage what-would-have-been a broken relationship - when one love is greater than the other.

From the Girlfriend's point of view:

I'm an old-fashioned girl. I believe monogamy should be part of what keeps a relationship together.

But on the other hand, I also understand that people have needs. I just don't condone it when those needs are put into the category of 'I'm a man so I have to cheat' or ' He didn't give me what I wanted so I cheated'.

Open relationships have never really made sense to me. You're in a relationship with someone you love, and yet you have the opportunity to step out and sleep with random (or not so random) people every now and again...but I'm beginning to kind of understand.

But what if you both agree to have sex outside of the relationship? What if your partner agrees to you having sex with someone while they watch? Is that healthy?

Here's a quote by Will Smith who apparently confirmed being in an 'open marriage' with wife Jada Pinkett:

“Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural and you’re going to be attracted to people.” he says.

“And if it came down to it, then one would say to the other: ‘Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now, I’m not going to if you don’t approve of it’…In our marriage vows, we didn’t say ‘forsaking all others’. We said ‘you will never hear I did something after wards’. Because if that happens the relationship is destroyed.”

I believe that couples shouldn't step outside of the relationship and cheat. One has to be in a secure, honest relationship where you can both talk about wanting to have sex with others yet, staying true to each other. If you find yourself wanting to have sex with outside of your relationship for the wrong reasons i.e. because you're tired of your partner or you're just bored, then communicate this to them and spare each other the pretense.

Instead, let your partner know what your fantasies are and act on them together as a couple. Now I don't know if this truly works but I'd like to think that it helps.

That's all I'm saying...

The Stance on Fur

"When they were quite old, the famous painter Salvador Dali and his wife, Gala, had a pet rabbit, who lived with them, followed them everywhere, and of whom they were very fond. Once, they were about to embark on a very long trip and they have debated long into the nights of what they should do to the rabbit. It would be difficult to take him along and equally difficult to entrust it on somebody else, because the rabbit was uneasy with strangers. The next day, Gala prepared lunch and Dali enjoyed the excellent food until he realised that he had eaten the rabbit meat. He got up from the table and ran for the bathroom, where he vomited his beloved pet, his faithful friend of their waning days. Gala, on the other hand, was happy that the one she loved had passed into their guts, caressing them and becoming one body with its' mistress. For her, there existed no more perfect fullfilment of love than eating the beloved."

Milan Kundera, The Immortality

Upstaged

It's a common song sung by most people who have been in a relationship or trying to find a relationship - Jealousy.

There are multitudes of stories told about current boyfriends being jealous with the ex of the current partner. Or the jealousy from the ex-partner towards the current item of the former boyfriend. Jealousy, on a minor level, is flattering, it shows how much care you have for your current beau, but on a major level it is certainly off-putting. And the worst part is, that everyone is guilty of that at some point.

Have you ever flirted and danced with someone in the club and left him for a quick phone call or to tinkle your genitalia, only to return finding your current snatch dancing intimately with another man? Classic story, isn't it? I have encountered this numerous times and the worst, once happened between myself , my best friend and his then current potential. It is what we call an 'upstage'.

Gay preferences vary pretty much like straight guys do. There are people who like masochistic macho male, muscle mary's to scrawny Microsoft dorks. It is so diverse and not at all vivid, that it's very hard to read between the lines. There are gays who dance with you only because they can't find their types and you are the only viable victim - lucky you.

A lot of people might disagree with me, but If i am to be upstaged, i prefer to be upstaged by someone who is more physically gorgeous than me. It upsets me equally but at least, you know what you were dated before have a greater standard. At some absurd points, you can vaguely compare where you stand in the phantom chart of beauties. I know beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but sometimes, I cringe and am always baffled to see my former flames dating someone whom in my opinion is less than I am. It gets you thinking and evaluating which part of yourself is lesser than him. It's a very troubling insecure feeling but it always gets me every single time.

Gees, who says life as gays are always frivolous?